Okinawa Fruit Land

So the Japanese have this unhealthy obsession with “theme parks”. Except they’re not the same (this is a normal problem between the 2 cultures).

This weekend we decided to run off and have a weekend. We haven’t done this since we went to South Dakota when it was hotter than the sun. I’m serious about that one, I almost died – it was unbearable.

We snagged a last minute reservation at the Kadena FSS facility – Okuma on the north end of the island. When I say north, I mean way north. Okinawa may be a small island but no one likes driving for 2.5 hours.

We made it to Nago before we could check in so we stopped at Fruit Land. It’s an exotic fruit theme park that sits directly across from Pineapple Park (also a “theme park”). The gist is that you pay ¥1000/person ($10 at current rates) to walk through this tropical paradise. The brochure is very convincing. Afterwards, they literally dump you in a souvenir shop and offer you samples and try to get you to buy stuff.

First, I saw no tropical fruit. None. They must have been dead. Second, there was 1 butterfly in the butterfly park. Seriously, not joking. Third, apparently there is some fairy quest that I didn’t understand but you might get something if you fill up your stamp card. Fourth, lunch was actually good. They have a restaurant and cafe and we grabbed lunch at the restaurant (yakuniku set – came out cooked but still good) and we snagged some pineapple juice from the cafe that was like blended pineapple, maybe juiced, with black tapioca pearled, served on ice. Lastly, we bought choco pine which is like pineapple flavored white chocolate and hibiscus tea.

Then we headed to Okuma to check in and hang out for the rest of the night.



Big Changes A-Comin’

 I started this blog over 3 years ago, my first post was April 23, 2010 – 10 days after Superman left for BMT.  I needed somewhere to write my thoughts and hoped that maybe someone else would understand why I was sleeping in the closet.  Well, 3 1/2 years later I realize that my blog no longer fits me.  Yes, I’m married to an Airman.  But, it’s so much more than that.  My life revolves around him but not in a military spouse way.  I look around at all my blog friends and the same things can be said for all of them.  Very few of us really identify wholly with being a military spouse and nothing else.  Yes, we are military spouses, but we are SO more than that and I need a blog that fits that.  With that being said, I’m starting the migration to wordpress.  I don’t know how long it will take or when it will debut – there’s a small child that keeps me very busy these days and a husband who is seemingly never home.  When I do make the switch, I will let you all know, repeatedly.  I hope you’ll follow me over to the new link, it’s more fitting for me (I’ve had it for a very long time, just never utilized it). will cease to exist when the subscription expires through blogger.  I won’t be renewing.  The Air Force is not my identity, I am my identity.


That being said, you’ll probably get to see more of me.  My blog is stripped of personal pictures mostly and that needs to change.  I probably won’t tell you my real name because for those of you who know it, it’s pretty damn unique and makes me very easy to find.  I can guarantee there isn’t another one of me running around this world and I prefer to stay mildly anonymous.


Just figured I’d give you the heads up.  Hopefully Molly Danger can get her crap together and migrate as well as become a wee bit more organized because she’s a mess right now, lol.  


The glamorous life of the military wife.

You’ve seen the show, you’ve seen the meme’s and comments.  Our lives are POSH (wich a capital P).  It’s all sunshine and rainbows and people bending over backwards for us, etc. etc. etc.  Our husbands are home every night for dinner, the yard is perfect, the laundry is put away and we have maids.  The kids are perfectly groomed in their designer clothes and we look like we just stepped out of the salon with out designer purse. Right?!

Wait, you mean that’s a lie?  RATS!


I recently was messaging with someone who is PCSing from Oki to Why Not? and I told her the base was small.  Her response was, “smaller than Kadena?”  I choked on my water.   Why Not? has a base population of about 5500, Kadena is home to 20,000 people.  This poor, young girl, has no idea.  She has no idea that she’s about to live on a base where the restraunts close at 7pm.  There is no steakhouse, no teppanyaki, no chili’s.  There’s barely a BX.  Her travel time will turn from 10 minutes to 30.  The gym will no longer have the best smoothie bar ever and will close at some STUPID hour because it’s “winter”.  Hell, it’s always winter in North Dakota.  I didn’t have the heart to tell her that it’s nothing like this place.  I told her, “it’s what you make of it.”  And that’s the absolute truth.  If we got orders back, I wouldn’t cry like I did the first time.  I might even be a little excited (and slightly annoyed, but I’d deal).  I still have friends there, I wouldn’t be walking into a new place not knowing anyone.  This girl is young.  Oh well.


Lately, I’ve been wondering where we will go next, because we WILL go somewhere next and in 2 years or so (maybe sooner), but we won’t extend here.  At least, as of right now – Superman refuses.  I haven’t really seen him in 3 weeks.  It’s pretty obvious looking around that he hasn’t been home and when he is home, he continually makes messes – this isn’t new.  But usually, he’s home long enough, sometimes, to clean them up.  Not recently.  I might choke him soon, or sell all of his stuff if he doesn’t clean up his messes soon.  In the last 3 weeks he’s volunteered at least 5 times.  He’s planned and orchestrated a ball.  He got sick for 3 days.  He’s worked 3 different jobs.  He was told to be flexible because there’s no telling where he’ll go in the next few weeks and then on Wednesday of last week we found out.  He’s going to rescue school.  So Monday morning he’s in training, but Sunday night he’s supposed to work dispatch from 2am – 8am and be in rescue by 0645.  WHAT?!  Now I have to deal with 3ish weeks of rescue school and then who knows what.  

I’m annoyed.  Really annoyed.

No joke, he’s been home for 3 hours tops and then turns around and leaves again.  I want to go to the gym.  I want a shower on my own time.  I want to not be responsible for grocery shopping and childrearing at the exact same time, every time.  I would like to watch a movie with my husband (not my sleeping husband who fell asleep on the couch and I haven’t judo chopped him yet).  These last few weeks have sucked.  First he got sick, then Baby Danger got croup, then I got something that required antibiotics and came with a 103 degree fever.  The only person who was required to soldier on like nothing was wrong was me.  Everyone else got to sleep and rest.  Not me.  And let me just tell you something, sicky MD is an ANGRY MD.  I said so many things to him, so many cuss words and I meant every single one of them.  During my time being sick (I still am, btw), I was responsible for all the cooking, the kid-rearing, his bathing, my bathing, trying to convince myself to eat whatever I made for myself (and deliver dinner to the broken superhero) AND clean up the house, the neverending pile of crap that keeps coming in my house and never leaves because someone who won’t be named (superman) can’t be bothered to straighten up, clean up, wipe down, run a dishwasher, run a washer, or put anything away or in the garbage.  I’m pretty sure our trash can is invisible to the male population around here as well.  I’m going to collect all the crap that he leaves lying around and put it in his closet or something.  He has no idea.  I picked up a straw wrapper, a granola bar wrapper, an empty milk jug, an empty water jug, 3 empty cups, 2 plates, assorted silverware, and like 5 or 6 other things that were just left out.  He said, “I was going to pick them up later.”  I asked him which month he was planning on doing that.  Our grass has weeds in it that are waist-high.  My recycling is literally sitting outside the front door.  His dry cleaning bags are all over the couch and his laundry pile is (no joke) 5′ tall.  I stood next to it, just to verify.  AKLFHKLWTORIQWFONQNW!??!!!!!!!! I hope he’s ready for it this weekend because if this house isn’t picked up by then, he’s going to be super bored cleaning all weekend.

Did I mention his mom is going to be here in like 6 weeks and I need to finish Christmas shopping.  UGH.


I NEED HIM HOME FOR MORE THAN 12 HOURS.  He’s already trying to plan going out to dinner on Friday night.  His friend wants to take us out for rescuing his dog and wants to leave here at 7pm for dinner.  Ugh, no dude.  There’s a tiny human who’s usually in bed by 8.  That’s not happening.  Oh and he wants to go deep sea fishing.  I’m actually tempted to let him go, just so he can get super sea sick for $120.  (He can kiss it – he’s not going).


I need a mama-san… and a less lazy husband.  Yes, I called him lazy – it’s an entirely accurate adjective for him.  He’s the only person I know that doesn’t put a single thing in the trash.  Yesterday, I picked up 2 dirty diapers before I went to bed.  Neither of them were ones I had changed.  There’s no follow-through.  He just sets things down and walks away from them.  Ugh.  Just Ugh.


Do I get leave?  I need leave!


MyCAA revisited

If you are on a military base and you are friends with, or belong to any of the spouses page (and yard sale pages) facebook accounts/pages – you’ve no doubt seen the advertisements for MyCAA and some type of training program.


I saw one of those today and the girl (who isn’t even at this base or country for that matter) was peddling a pharmacy tech program through Auburn University.  Now, if you remember, I’m a CPhT (yes, it’s still valid) amongst other things that involve multiple bachelor’s degrees and the like.  Regardless, I inquired about it’s legitimacy.  I asked about it’s accreditation, what school was hosting the program, the link to the school, the link to the program, etc.  I asked, very specifically, about it’s accreditation in regards to ASHP (American Society of Hospital Pharmacists).  She claimed she had called the school and they told her that they were indeed accredited.  I ran over to the ASHP site and looked for their little school on the list (and boy, are they a little school).  Guess who’s not on the list?  Auburn University OR Tyler Junior College out of Tyler, Texas.  I specifically asked about the ASHP because it’s a major accreditation board and multiple states require an approved curriculum from them to license their pharmacy technicians.  She gave me a link to the PTCB website for their accreditation (wrong!).  Told me she called the school (lie). 


Apparently, the draw to be a pharm tech is so great that people all over the world want to count pills.  Let me just tell you that there is SO much more to it than that.  Between a constant phone ringing, people at the window, IV’s being drawn up, pills being counted and moved and loaded and unloaded and returned and dispensed, orders needing verified, scheduled meds needing to be sent around, etc. etc. etc. – things get hectic.  In the land of food, you can screw up a cheeseburger, your manager might not see your mistake and your customer will live.  If you screw up a baby IV and your pharmacist doesn’t catch the error, that baby might die and you’ll both be out of a job, a license, and a potentially your own money.


I told her what was up, nice as possible but these people are recruiters.  They will tell you whatever they can to get you to give up your MyCAA money.  This system is a CASH COW.  I’ve talked to the MyCAA people about it and they admit the system is inherently flawed but they have no control over MyCAA approved schools.  They just have to meet federal financial aid requirements.  Yes, it’s awesome that there is some money out there for people to get educated and find a trade, but seriously… do your homework.  If you take the program and can’t use it, how likely are you to retake it?  You’re not.  You spent all this time and effort getting good grades and completing assignments and now it’s futile and you’ll have to do it again, if you decide to.  Ask anyone who’s taken a college class, they don’t want to take it again.  Ask anyone who’s had to take one twice, they hate everything about it.


Get your education, find a trade, but make sure it’s useful!  Make sure that you can USE it and it’s legitimate.  She’s running around spouting Auburn University and they’re not even the ones who are administering the program!  They’re recruiters, they lie.  You’re almost all military spouses (or military members) – you KNOW this already.


BE SMART (and don’t take any programs with Education Consulting Associates)!


P.S., how are you going to get trained in a medical career that requires physical skills without doing any clinicals?  Really?  If you get an online certification for phlebotomy, stay away from me.



The dangers of marrying too young, too old, or just plain marrying.

To me, Marriage is a sacred vow.  Whether you’re religious or not, athiest or not, feminist or not, something in between, etc.  It doesn’t matter.  When you get married you pledge your committment to another person and you promise to love them and be their person until you die (usually).

It saddens me to see people using their marriage as a toy to dangle in front of their significant other’s face when things go poorly.  The people who do this won’t care left or right what I’m saying but the people who see this happen, know exactly what I’m talking about.  I’ve seen so many people jump the gun and get married because their significant other was joining the military.  Hell, we got married a month before boot camp, albeit, we’d been together for almost 6 years already.  Next year we’ll celebrate 10 years together and 4 married.  But this isn’t about me and Superman.

For the love of god, don’t get married because your significant other is joining the military and got orders elsewhere.  Where exactly did you think s/he was going?  S/he sure wasn’t coming home.  I see facebook statuses of people who literally use their marriage as a pawn.  They threaten their spouse with divorce or give them a pat on the back for not being divorced already. I see them flip their socks while their spouse is deployed because they don’t have time to skype with them constantly.  They can’t do anything for you from the desert.  You need to learn to do it on your own.

There are plenty of people out there who got married young, had a kid or didn’t have a kid, already had a kid, whatever and they work just fine.  You want to know their secret?  They communicate with their spouse, they respect their spouse, and they grow up together.

When you get married, you’re a team and when one member of that team is not holding up their end of the proverbial marriage bar, they need to be called to the carpet.  There is always leeway and compromise in a marriage and if you think that you’re going to marry someone and run the show, I feel for your potential spouses because there will likely be more than one. 

There are times when I want to duct tape my husband to a chair and just lay into him because he only listens to a fraction of what I’m saying (how many times do I have to tell him to stop putting that lid in the dishwasher – wait, he’s loading the dishwasher… hmm).  He makes me bonkers sometimes.  But we are a team, he’s a much better team member than I am, I’m more of a solo act but I’m working on it.  He’s a great teammate usually.  Yes, he’s forgotten where the trash can is, doesn’t ever pick anything up off the floor or put anything away, and is overall an absentminded slob, but I love him.  I wouldn’t threaten to divorce him because he’s busy with his job.  He puts me ahead of most other things, it wasn’t easy getting to where we are and it took a lot of arguments and hurt feelings for us to make our points.  But, that’s just it, isn’t it?  Marriage is about compromising, not blasting your spouse on facebook.  Yes, I rant about him on twitter, but he’s not on twitter – he has no idea what I’m saying.  Chances are, I’ve already sent him that text message and he’s conveniently ignoring me until I find my temper cap because it’s obviously blown off.  I would never throw up a status message about leaving him and then tag him in it.  I respect him too much for that.  He’s not perfect, neither am I but we do respect each other and sometimes we need to be reminded what respect is because we forget.  

The divorce rate amongst military couples is ridiculous, partially because they weren’t ready to get married and partially because their partner changed.  There’s no denying that being in the military or even married to the military changes people, it just is.  It’s a matter of whether or not you can adjust as a team or not.


Don’t get married just so you can go with them.  Get married because you love them and you want to be with them forever.  Get married because they are your person and you can’t live without them.


I’m about to flip political shit.

Ok, so for the record, I voted for Obama in 2008.  I did not vote in the last presidential election because I was in North Dakota.  Shockingly, my vote does not count there and since the American people don’t actually elect a president, I figured what the hell.  Strike me down now.  I don’t care.
My political stance is somewhere in the middle, the older I get, the more it balances.  But, I can tell you this and you probably already know it if you follow me on twitter – I will ALWAYS vote for the person who guarantees a woman’s right to choose.  That’s how my decision is based annually and I know not everyone agrees with me.  Hell, I don’t even agree with half of each of their platforms but it is the most important thing to me.  Also, I think Mitt Romney is shady and moderately creepy, but that’s a personal thing.  I’m not going to get into a political fodder toss with anyone because legitimately, I don’t always know what is going on in the government.  Very few do.  It takes an incredible amount of time to keep up with their shady shenanigans (and a legal dictionary in most cases).  Also, there is no CSPAN here, so I can’t watch it and I would rather shoot myself in the leg than watch it.  They’re annoying and I hate, hate, hate parliamentary procedure.  I also hate wasting time, words, effort, money, on BULLSHIT.  I also hate fraud of all kinds.

That being said we are 2 weeks into a shutdown and I’m even more annoyed.  Actually, I’m livid.

I’m livid that we are a country who continually sends money out to bribe support other countries.  I am livid that we live in such excess that we are never going to be able to pay our debts off.  I am livid that we’ve been at war for over 10 years (imagine being a 9 year old, you think this is normal and that’s sad – my entire adult life has been at war).  I am livid that our government can be bough and sold by corporations.  I am livid that some fast food workers are bitching and whining about not making $15/hour to drop a basket of fries – kiss my ass, I made less than that dispensing medications that could potentially kill someone, you’re responsible for a flippin’ potato.  I am livid that laws get passed for the good of the people and the people don’t even know about them.  I’m livid that Congress can’t get their shit together.  I’m livid that you can patent the human genome and charge people to do research on YOUR gene (a special EFF you to those people).  I’m livid that people are being forced to go to work and not get paid for it.  I’m livid that we only have a partial shutdown, go big or go home people.  I’m livid that in the last hours, they passed a pay the military bill – I’m thankful that we have money but that was a total cop-out.  I’m just livid.

I’m also livid for this:

Now, if you stick around long enough you will find that the the House Rules Committee added a bill that would only allow the the Majority Leader to make a motion for House Joint Resolution 59 which is the Continuing Appropriations Resolution (funding the government).  Essentially, only the Republican Majority leader (or his designee) can motion for the bill.  Which means that NOTHING can be done until that person (Eric Cantor) does so.

I will also throw out that I no longer identify with a specific party because I think they’re both about as useful as plastic wrap in a typhoon.

For the record, I’m also livid that it took me forever to find the text of the bills.

But I’m not as livid as this dude:

Where is he when we need him these days?  This was from 2 years ago from what I can tell and it’s still relevant.  Someone bring this dude back, it’s awesome.

If I have a fact wrong, please correct me… if you don’t agree with me, I don’t really care.  What I do care about is that I’m not even 30 and this government is going to hell in a handbasket.  In order to fix it, HUGE strides will be made, corruption will need to be dealt with and common sense needs a small kickstart because some of the stuff coming out of the government is RIDICULOUS.

The government doesn’t care about me and you, they only care about themselves.  If you don’t believe me, I’d like to introduce you to Georgia Rep. Phil Gingrey (R).  Mr. Gingrey is (was?) an OB-GYN turned government hand puppet.  He states, Staffers “may be 33 years old now and not making a lot of money.  But in a few years they can just go to K Street… and make $500,000 a year.  Meanwhile I’m stuck here making $172,000 a year.” here

Maybe I misunderstood the definition of civil service but damn, $172,000/year sounds might decent to me for a man who’s worth an estimated $3 million.

Headdesk.  Headdesk.  Headdesk.

NFL Europe?!

Ok, since it’s football season and all, a friend of mine alerted me to a quote that a football player said.  

The NFL can try to force a team in London, but the players will always hate it

The NFL wants to go global, no big surprise there, this is old news.  Apparently the players think this is a terrible idea.  I’m personally not going to judge the league for their business strategies because they’re a lot more successful than I currently am.   They have a successful business model, branding, etc. and some not-so successful things going on all at the same time.  Regardless, their people are filthy, stinkin’ rich (and whine about not making enough money).

The quote is this: “All your family is back in the United States. Who would do that?” Eagles linebacker Trent Cole

Well, Mr. Trent Cole – I can direct you to tens of thousands of families who live overseas (sometimes voluntarily, sometimes not) who make an ass-ton less money than you do to play in Pennsylvania (8 hours from your home state).  These families have to rely on crappy internet to talk to their family, sometimes they don’t get to talk to them at all.  I forget just how pampered our athletes are, how much of a celebrity they become because they can tackle someone.  Seriously dude, you’re idea of sacrifice is a road game.  You know the cool part about you living overseas, I bet you could get back to the states whenever you wanted with your inflated salary of 3 million dollars a year.  For the record, we make 1% ish of what you make; so as you can imagine – travelling back to the US on a whim isn’t going to happen.  Plus, you can drive it in 8 hours, I couldn’t even get home on a plane in 8 hours.  So stop being a whiny baby.  It’s about experiences and NOT being a whiny baby.  

The cool part about living overseas though is this:  I get to see just how whiny and entitled Americans are as an outsider.  And boy, are we spoiled rotten.

I personally hope that Mr. Trent Cole gets traded to the London team just for giggles. 



I yelled at my child today.

I suck.

I’ve been on edge for the last couple of days, very little quiet time (I’m an introvert by nature and need decompression time like woah!), and very interrupted sleep for the last week or two.  Baby Danger ripped my glasses off my head and hit me in the face with them whilst throwing a temper tantrum because of the word no and a diaper change.  I hate being hit in the face, I hate being hurt.  He got me and before I could stop myself I yelled at him.  He cried.  I’m a jerk.  

I really needed some decompression time and I haven’t been able to get any quiet time for myself.  Superman came home this morning and immediately left to go voluntold.  Last night when I took him dinner I was informed that his 4-1 schedule has been reverted to 6-1, thus losing his day off that is coming up next week and skipping the week.  Firefighters work 24 hour shifts, he’s 24 on 24 off and every 4 shifts he’s off for 3 days aka Kelly week.  Well, this kelly week is being skipped due to manning, a deployment, a medical emergency, and a very short notice tdy team.  Not only that but his TDY was cancelled meaning I probably won’t be going back to the states for a week or two and his switch to days M-F has been postponed indefinitely.  It’s a lot of changes and stress all at the same time for all of us.  BD misses his dad, I miss being able to clean or shower or even eat right now.  BD has been ultra clingy and despite wearing him around the house often, he keeps getting fussy.  My shoulder is killing me for no apparent reason and I just want to sleep through the night.  Crib training is a bitch, sleeping through the night doesn’t happen and I keep getting woken up earlier and earlier.  Oh and Superman is gone again today for AADD tonight.  Breakfast sucked.  The dog is pissing me off.  I need a vacation, alone.

The time I did have to myself today was seriously ruined by my neighbor’s dog who keeps barking and whining when they leave.  I can hear it through the ceiling.  It’s annoying.

Anyway, I feel like an asshole.  I totally made Baby Danger cry and he hates loud noises, me raising my voice, the word no, etc.  

I saw this posted on facebook today: New Mamas Get Nothing Done (and other untruths)

You may have seen it on my twitter.  But regardless, I needed that today.  I needed something that said it’s okay to not get everything done.  Instead of napping with everyone today, I cleaned the kitchen when I should have napped.  More importantly, the comments really resonated with me.  Someone suggested an “I did” list instead of a “to-do” list – that’s brilliant.  I don’t know who you superheroes are that get so much accomplished with a crawling child (or any child) terrorizing your house but I applaud you.  I am not you.  My kid is not your kid.  He wants to be involved.  He wants to tear apart the DVD rack (and we let him) and cruise the couches.  He wants to play the drums on coolers and pots and pans.  He just wants to do it all, without being tied down to anything. 

I still need a break and maybe a mamasan, but I’m going to cuddle with him and stop trying to get a whole bunch accomplished while he’s awake.  I’m pretty sure we’re stressing each other out and all he wants is his mama and all I want is to hide in the closet sometimes.  

I feel like this is all coming out jumbled and chaotic, but I’m sure there are plenty of you who can follow my though process right now.  Regardless, I feel like a jerk for yelling at my baby but I’m sharing the “You don’t need to be a superhero” post I saw.


I’m also sharing this: Autocorrect Fails  Why?  Because that shit is funny and you will die laughing.  I cried.


It’s the little things

There are certain things in this world that make me straight wonky.  Yes I know, I’ve been whining recently – but let’s tell the truth, I’m a hell of a lot funnier when I’m hostile.

Nice me has nothing to say, she’s quiet, chill, fluid.  Hostile me has all kinds of things to say and it really doesn’t take much to set me off.  Today I was listening to AFN.  For those of you not overseas, it’s pretty much our only link to the US and television/radio.  They do news, exchange rates, base announcements (or in our case – island announcements), and general announcements.  It’s all very pg and the stories are vetted.  Sometimes AP news breaks in and we get real news – like today!  I don’t know all the details but I heard that a food stamp reform bill was passed with new working restrictions.  Then I heard a sound byte from a Representative about god saying if they’re hungry – feed them.  I don’t know my bible passages, do not quote me on the exactness of the phrase.  But that was the gist of it, the rebuttal was something about god saying to feed the workers.  Again with the above disclaimer.
First off, bible verses have no business in this argument.  Secondly, did we forget about the separation of church and state?  Third, if god wants to feed the hungry – go for it.  There are tax benefits to running a church – look at all those super mega churches. Fourth, I’m almost sure churches qualify for funding now similar to non-profits.  Fifth, if you’re sitting in your ass all day doing absolutely nothing (there were caveats to children and disabilities, states with really high unemployment rates, etc) why should someone else pay for you to eat?  If you can’t get a job, then that is documented, presumably through your welfare or unemployment files. There are states that already require that certain assistance be accompanied by a job search in some cases.  There are food pantries all over the country that help people.  We’ve gotten help before.  I specifically remember picking up frozen milk as a child.  But we stopped needing help and stopped getting the benefits. 
There are people in food stamps for decades.
That’s not right.  It’s not right that people can’t find a job in 3 years.  If a teenager is getting hired over you at mcdonalds, I suggest taking a shower and combing you hair before you walk in to fill out an application.  Shockingly, they don’t just let anyone work with food.
I am not opposed to people having to work to get food stamps.  I am opposed to denouncing the action or agreeing with it based on a bible verse or two.

Superman goes back to school

Let me just tell you a little secret about the man I married… he’s never satisfied, ever.

When he buys a car, he likes to plan his next purchase about 6-8 months later.  When he finishes a college degree, the itch comes back a few months to a few years later.  He’s obsessive and neurotic (or maybe that’s me?) when it comes to new things.  He doesn’t sit still on anything.  I would say that I like that but it would be a bold-faced lie.  

I don’t mind that he likes to change things up, usually, but I do mind that we’ve never paid off a car.  I mind that his attention span to something is the length of goldfish’s memory.  I mind that he’s never happy with where he is which somehow makes me feel inadequate.  I’m a gentle soul, my eyes speak for me, my heart breaks for others, I’d give you the shirt off my back (literally – I have done that), I would move the world so that the people I care about have what they want with reckless disregard for my own needs, wants, and desires.  When he says something like “I want…”, I immediately jump into planning mode.  I figure out how to make it happen.  Since we’ve been together for the last almost decade, he’s grown accustomed to the word “no”.  He hears it often.  If he had his way, our credit cards would be maxed out, he’d have the most expensive golf bag to walk the island of Okinawa and all the gear to go with it.  His collection would rival pga tour players and he sucks at golfing.

Regardless, he’s been docile since joining the military – they’ve kept him busy, kept him training and upgrading.  He’s about to finish his 7 levels which qualifies him somewhere above a staff or a seasoned one – he hasn’t even sewn on yet.  He hasn’t finished his CCAF because he doesn’t want to pay for speech (his CLEP didn’t go so well – apparently he gets nervous in front of people) so he’s decided he’s waiting until ALS and he’ll just get the credit.  In any case, he applied and got accepted for a master’s program in contractual something or other.  Why you ask?  Because he MIGHT want to crosstrain.  ALKJFKQWB!!!!?!??! Seriously?!  We didn’t even really talk about him going back to school.  Originally the plan was to save his GI Bill for me since I don’t have a M.A./M.S. yet and he has one.  

Apparently we aren’t doing that anymore.  Apparently he’s using it.  Apparently I’m going to kill him.

Then “Mr. I Make The Greatest Plans in the Entire World” sends me a text a few weeks ago asking me where his transcripts were from his master’s program.  I am not the keeper of the crap he keeps in his car.  I have no idea where his transcripts are that he demanded we order and then subsequently lost after a visit with the commissioning people at the ed center because he doesn’t pay attention to his surroundings in any way, shape or form.  Want to know where MY transcripts are?  In our file box in the folder labeled “education”.  Shocking, I know.  When we went to go get the orders for Japan, he lost his medical clearance.  He swore up and down he “gave it to me” that he “put it on the table” and that he “brought it into the house”.  Want to know where it was found?  Sure you do – Outside, under his truck, buried in the snow and covered with ice melt.  Yeah, that’s my observant husband. I even bought him one of those STUPID ABU file folders with paper in it and a expandable file thing that zips from the uniform store because we “needed one of those if we were going to PCS because it will keep all of our forms together”.  HAH!  HAH, I tell you.

Guess who keeps talking about having to buy school supplies for his 2 master’s classes he will be taking in Novemeber? I already told him that we have everything in the house he could possible need.  I’m sure he’ll whine about a pen and some paper (which we have copious amounts of) until I cave (which won’t take long – see paragraph 3) and let him buy some.  Then he’ll complain about the selection at the BX and try to order some ridiculously expensive fountain pen off the internet that I refuse to let him order because he steals all of my pens and I never see them again.

I told him I was sending our child to daycare just for sanity purposes if he goes back to school.


Oh, and you know those transcripts he had to have a copy of?  Well, he ordered a 2nd and 3rd copy (one for the university for admissions and one for the house).  Guess who left his transcripts sitting on top of the DVD stand (again, might I add?) and has no idea where they are now?  Yeah… he’s special.  Lucky for him I know where they are because I was sick of seeing those effin’ things sitting in stupid places and getting lost.  I hate paying for them over and over again because he can’t be bothered to put them somewhere safe.

I don’t know if I’ll make it through the next 18ish months.