Post Meltdown

So, after my blog post about disliking bugs among other things… I had an awesome dream (nightmare) about bugs.  I’m one of those people who doesn’t dream.  I italicized that because I really don’t think I actually do but people claim I just don’t remember them… so regardless.  I woke up at 6am scratching my head wildly thinking I had lice.  I don’t… thank god and what am I doing awake at 6am?  Ever since he left for BMT I have dreams (nightmares).  I don’t like dreaming, I don’t like waking up confused and scared.  I don’t like not being in control of a situation.  I don’t have happy dreams and I generally waked up panicked and on the verge of tears.  It’s really awesome.  So I’m okay today, a little manic but better than the last few days.  Being mildly crazy is pretty awesome sometimes, but only on the upswing… the opposite is pretty awful.  

Today, I’m just bored.  So last week I started weight watchers because I’ve got some fluff that needs to dissipate.  I’ve had this fluff for a while and I’ve decided that no more, I’m gonna be a hot AF wife, forget this crap.  If he’s gonna be in good shape, I’m going to at least be comparable.  I have the distinct feeling that my weigh in tomorrow is not going to go well.  Name that tune, oh yeah, I got drunk this weekend and killed some Taco Bell.  That’s just a bad combination.  Drunk people should not be allowed to go to the bell, it’s bad news all around.  I’m also thinking about quitting smoking.  I made a promise to myself that before you we get married for real, I’m gonna quit.  And by real, I mean the white dress.  I managed to talk myself out of going to the gym for 2 reasons a) my new highlights aren’t ready for chlorine yet and b) the dog really needed to go out because she didn’t do all her business this morning.  Great ending to my week.


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