So besides reading other blogs and figuring out how this whole thing goes, I get to learn the hard way. The hardest part is the dent it’s making on my heart. I find myself doing the oddest things anymore. I found one of his dirty shirts 2 weeks ago and wore it for 3 days. I miss the way he smells. I sleep all the way over on the bed because he’s supposed to be sleeping next to me. I wrestle with the dog because he’s not here to do it. I found myself sitting in the closet hoping for his smell. I refuse to give away his food because I think he’ll need it (he doesn’t). I wear his clothes. My temporary roommate is moving out in 2 weeks and I’m really sad. I realize that I was supposed to be helping her but she’s helped me more than she knows. The loneliness is far less edgy when someone else is sitting on the couch with you.
Onto the letter. They just finished the gas chamber. His TI is apparently one of the meanest (see toughest) out there. They look at the other flights and think they’re awful (the others). He apparently found his backbone, thank god. I’m sure he had to unpack it because honestly it’s been missing for a while now. More importantly, he thinks about me all the time and loves me more than he ever has. That’s really the most comforting part. I’ve been ridiculously insecure for 2 weeks now and now I can handle a little more time. I hear about how people get phone calls every week and am really jealous. I’ve gotten one and it lasted for like a minute. If you get one every week be thankful and think of all of us who get none.
On the humorous side, apparently someone got a package. I got a big giant note that says “no packages” and I’ll have to send him more pictures because I think he’s missing seeing things.
I don’t know if they read their mail or not but I flat out told his TI in a letter that I was mad at him. I hope he reads that one.