Before you ask, no I’m not going on one.  (insert super sad face here).
I saw a post from a friend who was really upset about her family not spending quality time with her because of money.  And then I saw the comments from random family members and friends who were all “I’ll spend time with yout!!”.  Well the one that really got me was someone who said that she CHOOSE to get married, her husband CHOOSE to join the military and I seriously wanted to start screaming.
First off, lots of people choose to get married and lots of people choose to take jobs.  Why does everyone assume that just because we are attached to the military that it makes missing your family and friends better?  It doesn’t.  I found out today that my niece laughed for the first time.  My heart broke a little bit.  I know that the next time I see her, she’ll be more than 6 months old and she probably won’t ever remember me throughout her life.  You see, I have no intention on ever living in my home state again.
Second, why does everyone assume that we’ll come visit them all the time?  For me to see both families in a year, I have to plan 3 vacations to different states, in different time zones, on different coasts.  So basically we are traveling all around the country to see our family because they won’t come see us.  I know this isn’t the case for everyone but I know it is for a lot of people.  I have numerous friends who’s families won’t come and visit them, they are expected to take leave and go visit.  God forbid that door works both ways.  On the plus side, my MIL is supposed to come visit us and that’s pretty exciting.  Just because we are a military family doesn’t mean we can afford to go all over the country to spend 4 days with our families each.  I haven’t seen my FIL since last June and my MIL since October.  I wouldn’t have even gone home to see my own family if my brother hadn’t had a child.
I want a real vacation, one where people go an do things and relax.  I want a wedding.  But you know what?  Everyone wants me to have a wedding too and no one can figure out where we should have it.  So, I’m just not doing it.  One day, I’ll have wedding pictures but not today.
I’m just annoyed and upset that they always ask when we’re going to come back and visit.  It wouldn’t be a big deal if everyone was still in the same place, but they aren’t anymore.  His family moved all over the place and mine stayed in the same place.  They aren’t even remotely close to each other anymore.  I can only imagine what it’s going to be like when we have kids and everyone wants us to bring them to them.  It’s going to be obnoxious. 


5 thoughts on “Vacations

  1. My husbands friends do this to us. They make it sound like we have all the time in the world because we are in the military. But they never want to travel because they have jobs. I guess in their mind the military isn't a job. We have one friend who's boyfriend is guard and he goes to drill once a month. (I have no problem with this) but it seems like she thinks that my husband is off as much as her husband is. My husband is currently going through 12 hour/day training. It's just frustrating so I know where you are coming from.

  2. I think the more frustrating part is that I have a job too and we aren't even on the leave calendar right now. The only leave he's taken was to move here and I sure as heck can't look at work and be like, sorry, I'm gonna be gone for a month. We're on 24, off 24 around here so that complicated everything. I think it's just a selfish thing, everyone wants people to come to them and they don't want to have to come to you.

  3. Thankfully our family lives in the same city, with the exception of my dad who is 2 hours away from that city. We'll probably only go home once a year and while my family has come to visit, husband's family hasn't and I'm afraid that they'll expect us to only visit at a certain holiday because it's the big family get together, but we also have my family, too. Deal with family and equal time is FRUSTRATING!

  4. You know, my husband's family has NEVER ONCE came to visit us in the almost 3 years we've lived here??? BUT his mom and grandpa have visited his brother (and family) when they moved to TN after them not even being there for a YEAR?! And now that we're moving closer, that bleepity bleep thinks we'll be coming down for every single damn holiday. Ha! Dream on! 15 hrs of driving still costs money stupid!

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