Well, today was kind of a judgement day for me. I thought about some things today and came to the conclusion that I think it’s time to find a new job. It’s almost like an inner peace kind of thing for me at this point. I’ve been stressed out about work, I’m rarely home and between my schedule and his schedule it’s just not working for me.
In the last week I worked 40 hours in 4 days and was set to work another 5 on top of it. Luckily I went in to work to see if I had to work only to find out that I didn’t and my boss didn’t have the memory to let me know that I wasn’t needed. I was also given the glorious news that the GS-7 slot that they were looking for to move back into my slot wasn’t going to happen… ever. I’m so fed up and disheartened. I’m grossly underpaid and I’ve literally been staying there for the pure and simple fact that there was a possibility I would be getting into the GS payscale (at a great spot). But, apparently my slot is no longer available and I’m not willing to continue to work there and be yelled at from a different office. I’m sick of being assigned tasks and stupid camps that aren’t my responsibility. If I hadn’t had to work on camps and other shit this week, I would have been able to finish what I needed to. I’m just fed up with all of it. I feel like I’m swimming a meet in an infinity pool. I’m getting nowhere and I won’t more forward. I also feel like even if an opportunity happens that fits my talents and skills, my boss will single-handedly ruin it because she can’t process a lateral thought. She’s like a damn butterfly and not the pretty kid, it’s just incredibly disorganized and annoying. I’m sick of being a whipping boy and I think it’s time to move on.
Normally at this point I would feel bad for even considering leaving the people who rely on my services but after being voluntold to come up with a homeschool gym curriculum that I don’t want to conduct, nor do I feel qualified, much less have any desire to be a part of it… I’m a little over it. I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want someone expecting me to be the money maker for my department while refusing to pay me what I deserve. If I was a contractor I would easily be making $200 for each 6 week program I taught that was 1 hour a week. Approximately $33/hr would be mine if I was contract. But, since I’m not and I work for some a youth center in an under appreciated/underpaid position, I will never make anything remotely like that.
Anyway, today I applied for a CNA training class that I had originally gotten the job the first time but turned down for the job I currently have. I can’t go to nursing school without the CNA license. I needed to take my job to know that I can do it, that I’m good at it, that people appreciate my work ethic and my work. Well, I succeeded and you know what? I’m pretty much done with it. We’ll see what happens when I get a job offer and see how much it pays, but for right now I’m at peace with getting a new job. Nothing huge happened, it’s just beyond my time to be there and time for me to move on… just like being in Minot, ND.