I am going to apologize in advance for any typos or weirdness you may see. Im updating my blog from a nook tablet..which is easier said than done. Im home for christmas and let me just say that a part of it is nice, the other part is a serious reality check.
My family hasnt seen me since february. No one has offered to visit me. Noone has come out, claimed they were coming out, or insinuated that they would like to. His family has been there twice.
My family likes to claim theyre caring but when it comes down to it.. they are always too busy to go out of their way for people. I almost want to ask them the last time they volunteered for anything. I imagine they cant remember the answer. I dont want to be that person. The one who is so wrapped up in their own lives they fail to give back to anything. I dont ever want to be that selfish.
I guess a part of me is jealous while another part is pissed off. I told them i was coming home for christmasand they were so excited. I told them i might need help with money for it. I dont have any pto right now. Going to see my family is costing me about $1000. I think my brother is the only one who understands. Odd that the one person i dont always like understands the pressure. I probably wont do this again. I probably wont go out of my way for 4 days at home again. Its really sad to think that the only way my future children will see my family is if i take them to them. I lived 4 hours from home and my mom visited me 4 times. My dad, just once. Its like if you arent there with them you dont exist. Im used to not receiving birthday presents anymore or just getting cash because no one takes the time to be personal. My future baby shower… ill have to return home for it. No one will come to me. It makes me wonder if they will even come see the baby(ies) when theyre born or will they assume that i will come to them?
For me this isnt a military issue.. its just how they are. I fearthings will never change.