christmas with the fam

I am going to apologize in advance for any typos or weirdness you may see. Im updating my blog from a nook tablet..which is easier said than done. Im home for christmas and let me just say that a part of it is nice, the other part is a serious reality check.
My family hasnt seen me since february. No one has offered to visit me. Noone has come out, claimed they were coming out, or insinuated that they would like to. His family has been there twice.

My family likes to claim theyre caring but when it comes down to it.. they are always too busy to go out of their way for people. I almost want to ask them the last time they volunteered for anything. I imagine they cant remember the answer. I dont want to be that person. The one who is so wrapped up in their own lives they fail to give back to anything. I dont ever want to be that selfish.

I guess a part of me is jealous while another part is pissed off. I told them i was coming home for christmasand they were so excited. I told them i might need help with money for it. I dont have any pto right now. Going to see my family is costing me about $1000. I think my brother is the only one who understands. Odd that the one person i dont always like understands the pressure. I probably wont do this again. I probably wont go out of my way for 4 days at home again. Its really sad to think that the only way my future children will see my family is if i take them to them. I lived 4 hours from home and my mom visited me 4 times. My dad, just once. Its like if you arent there with them you dont exist. Im used to not receiving birthday presents anymore or just getting cash because no one takes the time to be personal. My future baby shower… ill have to return home for it. No one will come to me. It makes me wonder if they will even come see the baby(ies) when theyre born or will they assume that i will come to them?

For me this isnt a military issue.. its just how they are. I fearthings will never change.

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3 thoughts on “christmas with the fam

  1. My family is the same way. Granted, I'm in Germany, but the only time my family came to visit was when my dad came out when I was pregnant. He came out while I was on bedrest to help out since my husband deployed. He stayed for 3 weeks and bitched the whole time about how he has no idea why people would want to live in another country… Yet, my mom is going to Italy this summer. It's an hour flight from Pisa and a total of 60 euro (about $80) round trip and she won't do it. Not even to see her grandbabies that she claims she loves SO much šŸ™‚ Sorry you are going through this. It definitely sucks.

  2. I'm sorry hun, I get frustrated with the hubs family for doing that. My MIL has visited my BIL's family twice now while they've been living down in the south (Which has been in the last 1 1/2 years while we've been living far away for 3 1/2), but she never came once to ND and hasn't made it here either. But it's not my place to get upset for him, so I keep my mouth shut. Maybe the kids will be the pull, and your family will come. But if not? Just give them all the love you can and try not to let on that anything is wrong to the kids. If there is one thing I know I didn't like about my childhood, it was that my mom was bad about complaining about family and it always left me feeling confused. It's not a fun place to be, but we just have to make the best of it and move on. *hugs*

  3. I don't know what it is worth, but you're not alone. My family does the same – to me and my sister. I am now completely other side of the world from them, which probably is a valid excuse but even when I lived closer, I was always expected to visit them, not vice versa. My best advice is just to move on, and let it be. You can't change the way how they act, and creating a drama over it is just waste of time. You can only hope that things change…. Hugs to you!

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