A few days ago I came to the stunning realization that I am going to be 28 years old this month. Holy Shit. I’m old! For all you spry little chickens out there, go ahead and laugh, it’ll happen to you one day too.
Then I realized that I’m almost 28, which is almost 30, and I have no idea how 30 year olds act. As a matter of fact when someone mentions that they are 30, a little part of me goes HOLY CRAP very quietly inside. I also realized that I am way behind on my goals in life. I was supposed to have kids already. Wtf. I’m gonna be my mom.
Then I started asking around, do I look 30? What does 30 feel like? Do you think different? Yeah, everyone thought I was crazy. Apparently 30 is the new 20, bitches. We look at all you 19-21 year olds and go, “isn’t she out past curfew?” Yeah, we really think you look that young… we also wonder where most of your clothes went. Oh and even better, we have no idea what is up with the rear bump in your hair or what possessed you to do that. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about..
Seriously, WHAT did you do to your hair? Why is that necessary? Did we ALL move to Texas? Did you teach ALL of your friends to do that too? Seriously, it looks really silly. Please stop doing that!