Searchy Search – It’s been awhile.

The cleaning fairy has gone on strike this evening for a special rendition of Searchy Search.  It’s been a while so I’ll probably go back through some repeats but seriously, some of this is too good not to touch on.  I don’t change the questions, I copy the search terms verbatim, typos and all.

1.  How much more does an Airman Basic make if married –  NOTHING!  Also, spouses do not get paid.  Just to clear up any confusion you seem to have, you (the spouses) do not work for the military – therefore you do NOT get a paycheck.  Your husband does not get paid more for being married to you EXCEPT they get additional BAH to put a roof over your head (and maybe a separation allowance) – that’s it.  I kid you not, someone posted on one of the Oki sites that her husband’s pay was messed up.  Apparently he hasn’t been getting his “married” pay (for the last 2 years) but he has been receiving his pay for his baby.  After watching people inquire as to what the hell she was talking about, could it be the COLA difference??, there’s no BAH overseas, maybe he’s not getting his BAS?, etc. etc. There was a communal realization from all participating in the discussion that OP thought that her husband got extra base pay for being married and now he was due backpay.  Wrong. Also, while we’re at it.  The active duty member is responsible for their own paycheck and reading their LES.  You can google instructions, there are webpages that will walk you through it.  If you aren’t being paid properly, that’s your own fault.  If you’re being overpaid, which is a legitimate issue when PCSing, especially overseas (I’ll explain in a minute), you’re responsible for noting that and paying back finance.  If you don’t, they’ll take it out of  your pay forcefully and sometimes in large sums.  When you PCS, you check out of your previous base you start receiving BAH until you check into some type of housing at your next base (TLF, TLA, Dorm, House, whatever).  If you’re in TLF/TLA you’ll likely receive an overpayment on your BAH because it takes some time to process that paperwork to stop letting you collect BAH.  In the case of an overseas PCS, you’ll be reimbursed for TLA until you find housing usually.  But, you might not get your BAH stopped right away.  You can’t get reimbursed for housing AND collect a per diem in TLA at the same time.  You can pay them back, they take checks.. or you can let them yank it out of your pay – your choice.  Just don’t whine that you owe them $4,000 because you knew that they were paying you a BAH and and you were living in government quarters.

2.  Do Airman wear wedding bands?  –  Depends on the job.  Superman does not.  He’s not allowed to, it’s a safety hazard.  He wears it on his off days, most of the time.

3.  FAQ Airman wife – yes?  We’re normal people, just like you, except that we’re more likely to be unemployed because our career field isn’t available or we don’t have the proper training because we move frequently, or someone won’t hire us because we move frequently.  It’s a glorious thing, really… /eyeroll.

4.  Southerners hate Canada – You do?  Why?!  Canada is cool, eh!

5.  Airman with big boobs – How the hell did you get to my blog?!  Really?!  They exist, I promise – some men too.

6.  Paleo Cheat Days – yes, do it.  You’ll be a happier person.  Or weak.  But, I’m weak, so I condone it.

7.  “I hate shoes” – Me too!!! We’re like kindred spirits.  Let’s be friends.  But just online friends because I’m an introvert and it is EXHAUSTING making real life friends.

8.  Do Airman get guns?  – Superman touches an M4 (I think) exactly once per year.  He doesn’t carry a gun, he doesn’t like guns, he can barely shoot a gun.  The answer to that question is a resounding no.  Not every person in the military is a trained killer – most of them don’t have that skill set.

9.  Going on to a military base with someone else’s ID – let’s recap – impersonating someone else is a crime.  Trespassing on federal property is a crime.  There are jails on base, do you really want to sit in one?  I doubt it.  I also doubt you’d be afforded the same luxuries as you would the county jail – The Patriot Act is very broad.  National Security makes things fuzzy.  Plus, I live on base and if you don’t belong on base or have the appropriate access, please stay the hell away from my house.

10. What happens to an airman who gets a DWI  – Lots of factors here, on-base, off-base, CONUS, OCONUS, rank, damage, etc.  Regardless, you’re most likely going to get arrested then get Article 15’d, then probably get kicked out of the military.  Every base (at least I think every base) has a designated driver program that will come pick up your happy, drunk ass and get you home.  It’s a wingman program.  USE IT.

11. I think my wife is addicted to pinterest – hahahahahahah!! I love it.  She probably is, my neighbor is, I would be if I had more free time.

12.  How can I make sex with on airman – WTF.  Well, honey, when 2 people love each other, they lay… you know what, I’m just not going there.  But I was entertained.

And the winner for the longest search term is:

13.  banks in minot that assist people with bad credit in getting a debt consolidation loan to consolidate bills – Woah buddy, that’s a mouthful.  But, I recommend Northern Tier… they’re nice people.

Random fact of the day, I’m oddly popular in Ukraine apparently.

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