Being Thankful

There are days in my life I am so irritated with the military or overwhelmed with life that I forget to be grateful for what I have and my experiences.  

Today I was headed back to base after stopping at a farmers market and egg zoo to get some essentials.  I saw a fighter take off as I was coming back.  As a firefighter wife I’m supposed to care about fire trucks, I don’t.  Most of us don’t.  But I have an overwhelming sense of awe and pride when I see our planes take off.  I used to just stare at the buffs and now I curse the 22’s.  

I am awed by those planes (and they’re really loud).  But I have a sense of pride every single time I drive on a base.  I’m proud to be part of a community that understands the sacrifice these folks make.  I am thankful that I have the opportunity to live in paradise.  I am thankful I get to stay home with Baby Danger until I’m ready to go back to work.  As I type this he’s napping in the backseat of the car and I’m patiently waiting for him to wake up so I can go pay our Internet bill.  I’m thankful that Superman is generally safe and has a sense of purpose. 
We are safe, healthy, experiencing new things constantly, and are not flat broke.  I can’t ask for more than that.  I am grateful that we have the life we have and I can live my life as I see fit (mostly).
What are you grateful or thankful for?

I’m hungrrrrrrry

As I type, I’m sitting here waiting for my breakfast to cool down.  It’s noon-45.  Baby Danger was complicated this morning.  He didn’t want to take his first nap (2nd day in a row – PLEASE don’t let this happen already) so he got to help me sort his old baby clothes for the clothing swap next weekend.  I take his stuff that I don’t want to keep and upcycle them for new, gently used clothing in whatever sizes I need.  I have 2 solid bags of 9+ months all the way to 2T that I picked from one of Superman’s co-workers.  They’ve finally decided to get rid of their clothes because they’re having a little girl instead.  More boy clothes!  Yay!  I’m drowning in baby clothes.

But, back to breakfast-ish.  I wanted to share what I was eating today because it really is a chore of creativity to come up with food choices sometimes.  We’re still paleo (failing wildly this week) and finding meals is really complicated sometimes.  What I really want right now is a drive-thru, somewhere I can mindlessly go and just pick a number and then mindlessly eat it without having to Labor on Labor Day.  But alas, finding drive thru food that isn’t full of crap is hard.  I really have better luck off base where the Japanese have much higher food standards than greedy, capitalistic, shady America does.  Did you know that a Japanese McDonald’s will not use American beef because the quality sucks?  I can tell you flat out that their stuff tastes better than ours.  When you go and order a chicken nugget meal, do you know how many nuggets you get?  5.  That’s it.  There’s no 20 piece on the menu.  Why?  Because no one should eat 20 nuggets.

My brunch scramble is this:  3 eggs, 2 angus hot dogs, about 1/4-1/2 oz of organic mozzarella, black pepper, paprika, and apples all mixed together (and then more apple on the side because I’m not wasting and apple.  That’s being washed down with a cup of water.  Never fear, I’ll be tanking up on coffee later but I’m thirsty and coffee does not quench my thirst.  My food is inspired by a restaurant in Chicago called Tweet! Let’s Eat.  Superman got a havarti and green apple omelet from them that was to die for.  I would actually go sit in traffic for that omelet.  I got gluten-free pumpkin pancakes and I would have jumped off buildings for those.  Seriously, that good.  The server recommended them and he got a fabulous tip for that.  The place isn’t cheap and I’m pretty sure it’s cash only but it was SO good.  They’re hours are weird but the food is SO good.  Did I mention it was SO good?  I’m actually over hear reading their menu and drooling.  I know we’re paleo and all, but if I’m going to be forced to eat pancakes – haha – I think I’ll go gluten-free.

So, go to Chicago and go to Tweet! and eat some GF pumpkin pancakes for me.  Take a picture and send it to me so I can fantasize over their delicious food.  I’m gonna go back to my scramble and dream.  Next time I’ll tell you about the pizza place we love.

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My heart is aching

I’ve spent the last few days dealing with a child with a severe aversion to sleeping in his crib.  He’s new at this, so I don’t hold him too much at fault.  On the other hand, I can’t even get solid naps in there either.  I’ve been frustrated, overwhelmed and just plain mean from exhaustion.  Yes, I should have taught him how to sleep in his crib sooner but he gave up his pacifier months ago so we have no self-soothing mechanism anymore.  I’d leave him in his rock ‘n play but the kid can pretty much wiggle himself out once he sits up.  Regardless, it’s been a rough week for me and him.  Lots of crying, lots of tiredness, lots of exhaustion tantrums from Baby Danger not napping properly.  We also thought we had 3 teeth coming in.. well, apparently we have 2 and one of the is pretty huge.  Huge enough that I’m mildly concerned about its size, it’s almost like it’s 2 teeth fused together, we’ll see.  It’s only half way here.  

 

This last week involved my cell phone surfing across base on the top of my car and making it not quite all the way home.  Some girl found it and was nice enough to text us to let us know where it was.  My social awkwardness kicked in and I’m pretty sure she’s wondering why she even bothered.  I thanked her, but I walked away feeling like I hadn’t done enough to express my gratitude.  The screen was smashed to pieces and after a warranty replacement and 2 days, I got a new phone.  Then today, I traded the phone for an iphone 5, so whatever.  I even managed to fully flip shit on Superman last week about him not doing anything and I’m pretty I directly threatened Tiger Woods in the process (I hate that video game, HATE it).

 

But, all of my frustrations dissapeared 3 days ago, maybe 2.  You see, about 16 month ago, I was following a mama on twitter and saw the most heartbreaking news I’ve ever seen.  At the time, I was 3ish months pregnant and potentially right before the end of my first trimester, but this isn’t about me.  Regardless, I was terrified.  I was distraught.  I cried, I cried for her, I cried for me, I cried for my friends, I cried for every mama out there who lost their baby(ies).  Her twins died, they were born really early and neither made it.  I’d been following her since then but with this phone shattering business, I haven’t gotten the chance to really keep an eye on my friends’ feed on anything.  She was pregnant again and due this month.  He died too, this time after birth.  He contracted some type of virus that attacked his heart and killed him.  I was heartbroken for her again.  I haven’t thought about much else for the last few days, my thoughts keep drifting back to her and her babies.. and then mine.  

Even though I’m tired and exhausted and probably hungry, I have snuggled that boy more in the last few days than I have in a few weeks.  He needs me and I need him.  I know I wrote not so long ago about how I don’t really know who I am anymore.  I know who I am, I’m his mom and that’s really all that matters.  I don’t need a career to identify me, I’ve been there.  I just need him like he needs me.  It’s an awesome feeling (and not in the ninja turtles way, it’s a feeling from within – about as close to spiritual as I get honestly).  I hurt for the mama who has lost another baby boy, I hurt for my friends who have lost them and strangers who have as well.  I can’t imagine going through it, I don’t know if I’m strong enough for something like that.  

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Searchy Search – It’s been awhile.

The cleaning fairy has gone on strike this evening for a special rendition of Searchy Search.  It’s been a while so I’ll probably go back through some repeats but seriously, some of this is too good not to touch on.  I don’t change the questions, I copy the search terms verbatim, typos and all.

1.  How much more does an Airman Basic make if married –  NOTHING!  Also, spouses do not get paid.  Just to clear up any confusion you seem to have, you (the spouses) do not work for the military – therefore you do NOT get a paycheck.  Your husband does not get paid more for being married to you EXCEPT they get additional BAH to put a roof over your head (and maybe a separation allowance) – that’s it.  I kid you not, someone posted on one of the Oki sites that her husband’s pay was messed up.  Apparently he hasn’t been getting his “married” pay (for the last 2 years) but he has been receiving his pay for his baby.  After watching people inquire as to what the hell she was talking about, could it be the COLA difference??, there’s no BAH overseas, maybe he’s not getting his BAS?, etc. etc. There was a communal realization from all participating in the discussion that OP thought that her husband got extra base pay for being married and now he was due backpay.  Wrong. Also, while we’re at it.  The active duty member is responsible for their own paycheck and reading their LES.  You can google instructions, there are webpages that will walk you through it.  If you aren’t being paid properly, that’s your own fault.  If you’re being overpaid, which is a legitimate issue when PCSing, especially overseas (I’ll explain in a minute), you’re responsible for noting that and paying back finance.  If you don’t, they’ll take it out of  your pay forcefully and sometimes in large sums.  When you PCS, you check out of your previous base you start receiving BAH until you check into some type of housing at your next base (TLF, TLA, Dorm, House, whatever).  If you’re in TLF/TLA you’ll likely receive an overpayment on your BAH because it takes some time to process that paperwork to stop letting you collect BAH.  In the case of an overseas PCS, you’ll be reimbursed for TLA until you find housing usually.  But, you might not get your BAH stopped right away.  You can’t get reimbursed for housing AND collect a per diem in TLA at the same time.  You can pay them back, they take checks.. or you can let them yank it out of your pay – your choice.  Just don’t whine that you owe them $4,000 because you knew that they were paying you a BAH and and you were living in government quarters.

2.  Do Airman wear wedding bands?  –  Depends on the job.  Superman does not.  He’s not allowed to, it’s a safety hazard.  He wears it on his off days, most of the time.

3.  FAQ Airman wife – yes?  We’re normal people, just like you, except that we’re more likely to be unemployed because our career field isn’t available or we don’t have the proper training because we move frequently, or someone won’t hire us because we move frequently.  It’s a glorious thing, really… /eyeroll.

4.  Southerners hate Canada – You do?  Why?!  Canada is cool, eh!

5.  Airman with big boobs – How the hell did you get to my blog?!  Really?!  They exist, I promise – some men too.

6.  Paleo Cheat Days – yes, do it.  You’ll be a happier person.  Or weak.  But, I’m weak, so I condone it.

7.  “I hate shoes” – Me too!!! We’re like kindred spirits.  Let’s be friends.  But just online friends because I’m an introvert and it is EXHAUSTING making real life friends.

8.  Do Airman get guns?  – Superman touches an M4 (I think) exactly once per year.  He doesn’t carry a gun, he doesn’t like guns, he can barely shoot a gun.  The answer to that question is a resounding no.  Not every person in the military is a trained killer – most of them don’t have that skill set.

9.  Going on to a military base with someone else’s ID – let’s recap – impersonating someone else is a crime.  Trespassing on federal property is a crime.  There are jails on base, do you really want to sit in one?  I doubt it.  I also doubt you’d be afforded the same luxuries as you would the county jail – The Patriot Act is very broad.  National Security makes things fuzzy.  Plus, I live on base and if you don’t belong on base or have the appropriate access, please stay the hell away from my house.

10. What happens to an airman who gets a DWI  – Lots of factors here, on-base, off-base, CONUS, OCONUS, rank, damage, etc.  Regardless, you’re most likely going to get arrested then get Article 15’d, then probably get kicked out of the military.  Every base (at least I think every base) has a designated driver program that will come pick up your happy, drunk ass and get you home.  It’s a wingman program.  USE IT.

11. I think my wife is addicted to pinterest – hahahahahahah!! I love it.  She probably is, my neighbor is, I would be if I had more free time.

12.  How can I make sex with on airman – WTF.  Well, honey, when 2 people love each other, they lay… you know what, I’m just not going there.  But I was entertained.

And the winner for the longest search term is:

13.  banks in minot that assist people with bad credit in getting a debt consolidation loan to consolidate bills – Woah buddy, that’s a mouthful.  But, I recommend Northern Tier… they’re nice people.

Random fact of the day, I’m oddly popular in Ukraine apparently.

I can be immature too.

I was scrolling though the husband’s facebook whilst Baby Danger was falling asleep and stumbled upon a post that said something along the lines of an 18/19 year old freaking out because they saw someone breastfeeding in public at the Mall of America.  Something about covering it up or blah blah blah and how it was gross and no one wants to see that.  I’d copy and paste it but apparently, I am blocked from seeing this girl’s word vomit (I’ve never met her but her name is missing for me and it’s visible to Superman.  

I read the comments on it and one of her own friends posted, “I hope you’re joking.” To which this awesome 18 year old (she might be 19 now) replied, NO!  That’s disgusting, no one wants to see that.

I officially want to drive back to North Dakota, from Okinawa – yes, and judo chop this idiot in the throat.  She has pictures all over the internet of her cleavage, her ass in a bikini, etc.  But she’s going to get all bent out of shape because she saw top boob.  Hell, she may not even have seen it, she just recognized what was going on at the time.  

Yes, I realize that’s judgy.  But, I don’t care.  This girl is sheshul.  The guy she is currently engaged to (and legitimately isn’t mature enough to go anywhere as an adult thus probably has no business getting married – more on that later) used to work with Superman.  He is also the same age as her and they come from that special generation of “Hand me shit on a silver platter and I will do what I want, when I want, how I want.”  Also, he lives with her in her parents home. /megaeyeroll

I was infuriated when I read it.  This is the girl who whilst the boy was deployed, started shit with his then girlfriend (who was approximately the same age at the time (17-18) and broke them up.  The facebook drama that I was lucky enough to catch was the most ABSURD thing I’ve ever seen.  She even went so far as to tell the now ex-g/f (and fiancee) that she slept with her boyfriend before he deployed.  The whole thing is a total cluster and fantastically dysfunctional.  When he returned from the desert, he broke up with now-fiancee and started dating ex-fiancee again and then they broke up and he went back to the blonde tramp stamp.  They broke up again a few months ago, right before he put a ring on it.

If this is what the future generation looks like, I’m moving to the moon or something.

Regardless, between wanting to virtually bitchslap her for being an immature hoe bag (amongst a whole string of things) and wanting to scream at her for just being plain immature I realized something.  If she thinks this, what does that mean for our next generation of babies?  We all know that “breast is best” and I’m also well-aware that sometimes that just isn’t possible.  But if you could, why wouldn’t you provide the best you could for your child?  This is even beyond the breastfeeding debate.  This goes into children’s nutrition.  I recently saw someone post, asking for help transitioning their babes and starting to feed them food.  There was lots of advice, I chimed in too, people were great about just saying, “ya know, it’s your thing, here’s what I did.”  Then there was one comment about how someone was being judged for how they raise their children, they were doing it all wrong but their kids were fine and they didn’t raise a “Maury kid” yet.  I don’t even know what that means but I assume it’s some type of springer-type reference?  Correct me if I’m wrong.  I remember when my MIL found out we weren’t doing rice cereal (oh, the shame!!) and her comment was that she had done it and her kids turned out fine.  I just kept my mouth shut.  I wanted to scream, “yeah, well 27 years ago we didn’t know that much about nutrition or arsenic levels in rice!”  But, I didn’t.  I was trying to be polite.  For the record, I hate that response, “Well, I did it and my kids were fine.”

I hope, for the sake of the generations that follow, that her generation gets over themselves (yes, I know they aren’t ALL like this).  I’ve never seen a more self-involved and just plain selfish group of people.  I hope that my son never grows up like that.  I hope her parents never procreate again… and I hope I see her again soon, because I’ll probably whip my boob out and feed BD in front of her, just for shits and giggles.

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31 days of Paleo.

Well, there you have it. 31 days since going Paleo.

What have I learned in the last few weeks?

 I think that pretty much sums it up, lol.

In all seriousness though, I thought it would be super difficult to do this and it kinda is but it’s not at the same time. You eat REAL food. You don’t eat processed garbage. If I don’t know an ingredient, I don’t eat it. Yes, I cheat sometimes when I go out to eat. You think the Japanese list all their ingredients on some fancy website and translate it into English for you? Negative. But, we make wiser choices.

What have I really learned in the last few weeks?

  •  I ate like crap. I didn’t think I ate like crap, but I did. I really ate like crap. 
  • I like ice cream, like really like ice cream. Here in the 7th circle of hell, I like to cool off. I like ice treats so much that I’ve bought popsicle makers and an ice cream maker is on its way and I’ll be making sorbet and maybe some paleo friendly chocolate ice cream. 
  • Pasta and other heavy carbs make me feel like crap. I could probably make a whole meal out of a small baked potato and some shredded bbq chicken. That used to be a portion of my meal (and add some corn and we’re good to go!) 
  • I thought I wanted movie theatre popcorn, and then I realized I didn’t, lol. Gut bomb. I am going to buy some fancy amish popcorn or organic and make it myself… in much smaller portions. I just need a taste every now and then, not 12 cups. 
  • They put soy and wheat in flippin’ everything. For those of you allergic, I am so sorry for you. I have no idea how you eat sometimes (but I’m learning!). 
  • They also put frickin’ sugar in everything and I mean just about everything. It’s no wonder I’m addicted to sugar, check your labels, it’s ridiculous. Can someone PLEASE explain to me why sausage needs sugar? 
  • I learned what carageenan is. That’s some nasty shit people.. oh wait, that’s right, “it’s safe..” I don’t trust the FDA, at all. They do not have our country’s best interests at heart. They’re a corrupt organization who allows companies to put crap in people’s mouths – cough Monsanto cough. 
  • I love cheese. But if I’m going to eat it, I’m going to eat the good stuff – not some crappy kraft block of cheese that has a ton of preservatives (and rarely). 
  • S’more poptarts are the devil… so are the chocolate cupcake pudding cups – you hear me you evil marketing geniuses? I’ve got you beat though, don’t you worry. 
  • Sometimes you need a little chocolate. 
  • Real food is expensive. 
  • Bacon is delcious, all the time. 
  • I found a recipe for Dole Whips – the paleo version, and I am SOOOO excited to try it. Baby food products have sugar in them too. WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY?! Baby Danger eats steak. (Allison, you can just start dying laughing now. Oh, the things you learn as a parent.) 
  • Paleo cupcakes are not the same, neither are muffins, but they’re close enough and I didn’t put refined sugar in them. WIN! 
  • While on paleo, it’s totally acceptable to use a pound of butter for buttercream frosting – you know why? It’s a “healthy” fat. BAHAHA. 
  • I learned how to make mayo (and it’s good too). 

We are staying paleo for now.  It’s not a diet, it’s not a fad. It’s coming to terms with personal beliefs and issues I have with how food is made and sold in America. I don’t need pasta (sometimes I cheat, yes) at every meal. I look at the plates my friends post and scream, “THOSE AREN’T VEGETABLES!” at the computer. Speaking of vegetables, corn is confusing. We just don’t eat it anymore. Not that I’m missing much, if it’s not Indiana Sweet Corn, I don’t want it. I haven’t enjoyed corn on the cob since I’ve left Indiana. Is this how the rest of the world eats corn? Do they all eat crappy corn? You guys are really missing out on the good stuff. I may hate Indiana, but I love their corn… and autumn.

The idiot’s guide to Paleo Mayonnaise or just mayo in general.

Last week (maybe?), I made mayonnaise.  It qualifies as paleo but is just good.  I’ve had people ask me for the recipe numerous times so I figured I’d put it on the internet – mainly so I can refer back to it easily, lol.  I get distracted easily.

 

Ingredients:

1 egg yolk

1 Tbsp. lemon juice (we used the bottled kind at room temp)

1/4 tsp. fine sea salt (or less to taste)

1 c. of extra light olive oil – pick whatever is the cheapest that is ACTUALLY olive oil (also room temp – you people don’t refrigerate your oil do you?)

1 dollop (fancy, eh?) of dijon mustard or 1/4 tsp. of mustard powder

 

Directions:

  1. Put egg, lemon juice, mustard and salt, in a small, narrow container.  One that is BARELY bigger than a stick blender.
  2. Add cheapo extra light olive oil and let it sit for 15-20 seconds.  (go wash the egg off your hands)
  3. Use an immersion blender or stick blender and turn it on.  You’ll hear a pitch change while it’s mixing and an emulsion will begin to form.
  4. You’ll need to tilt the oil on the top into the oil that has already formed.
  5. Ta-da! Mayo.

The whole process takes about 2 minutes to blend, so be patient, grasshopper.

 

There are a few things to note about this mayo though – it’s not sweet and doesn’t have a sweet aftertaste like the store-bought kind do (they add sugar).  You can dress the mayo up however you’d like, garlic, chipotle, black pepper, the possibilites are endless.  Put your mayo in a jar or something and store that bad boy in the fridge.  I use a cheap squeeze bottle I got from the Japanese equivalent of a dollar store.  Make sure that your oil isn’t expired – a lot of oil is.  This should keep for a few weeks, you’ll be able to smell it if it turns.  A good rule of thumb is whenever the egg was going to expire is your use by date.

 

My first attempt at mayo was a record in disaster – I have no idea what went wrong, not enough salt, not enough mustard, expired oil, who knows.  It was just bad.  If this doesn’t work for you, try it again later.  Sometimes it just doesn’t work the first time.

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I’m annoyed at Under Armour

So for Father’s Day, Superman said he wanted some new boxer brief things.  We found some online at Under Armour, on sale (sorta) and with a 10% discount from TroopSwap (if you haven’t signed up over there yet, you should).  I said, “yay!” and ordered them for him.  That was June 27th.  Today is July 26th.  They even offered free shipping!  I said, “yay!”  I’ve been compulsively checking the mailbox for this blasted package and it’s not here yet.  I ordered Scentsy last week and guess what showed up yesterday?  You want to know why?  Because they ship priority mail.

 

I reached out to them via twitter and I get a response back from them asking for my order number so they can track the package.  Yes, thank you under armour minions, I can track my own package too!  It’s not supposed to be here until 8/14/13 now.  For the record and I counted, that is an estimated 48 days or just shy of 7 weeks to mail 2 pairs of boxers from Maryland to an APO address in Japan.  Why you ask?  Because Under Armour ships USPS economy.  They’re willing to pay for FedEx ground but they refuse to pay for priority mail.  In this case, they actually paid for BOTH FedEx and USPS because they shipped it to FedEx first who then shipped it to the USPS.  I imagine that 2 pairs of boxers weighs less than 2lbs.  Would it have killed them to ship priority?  I would have paid for priority shipping (assuming it’s not some assinine price like Bodybuilding.com charges).  

 

How are you going to say you support the troops if you make it impossible for us to get our items?  I just placed another order on the 17th of July because I REALLY wanted a specific WWP heat gear shirt and the BX was sold out.. That shit isn’t even supposed to get here until September.

 

Lesson learned.  Under Armour, I’m sorry but we’re getting a divorce.  If I can’t buy it at the bx, I’m not buying it.  I’m not waiting 6-8 weeks for your crap to arrive.  Nike ships priority and so does just about everyone else.  Old Navy even has free returns (and priority shipping).  You can’t tell me that you’re not making enough money from all of your sales, stores and outlets to OFFER priority shipping.  Let us have the option to pay for it or stop using FedEx and we’ll split the cost!  Until you offer USPS priority mail, I can’t shop with you anymore.  

 

There is an issue when your Household Goods shipment arrives before your stupid capris do.

 

Sorry, dude.

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Paleo Cheat Day #2

Well, we made it cheat day number 2, no thanks to Mr. Danger.  For the record, I never once said, “Hey Honey, let’s go paleo.”  It was his idea.  Apparently when he gets into something it’s a fleeting thought as opposed to me where I am usually all in.

 

In the last week Mr. Danger has committed the following grevious offenses against HIS paleo diet suggestion:

  1. Found him unpacking Peanut Butter from his lunch bag, I asked him how we ate it – he says, “with a spoon”.  Pale-no-no
  2. I asked if he needed more almond milk from el commisary.  He says no.  We go to the commy – he begs for regular white milk.. like BEGS and then tells me that there’s science behind not drinking too much almond milk.  At this point I want to punch him.
  3. During same said shopping trip, he demands a box of organic rice cereal.
  4. Tried to buy cashews and another trail mix variety until I pointed out the sugar.
  5. Claimed to be starving, so we went through the BX grocery section looking at beef jerky.  I found one that was ALMOST paleo, I think it had some soy product in it second to last.  I showed it to him and the product, asked him if he could live with it, he pouted, said no and whined.  Instead of going home and making dinner, he pretty much melted down (which happens to him when he gets hungry), the only thing missing were the crocodile tears Baby Danger produces when he’s past his bedtime.  Since dinner was apparently an emergency now because someone didn’t plan on a snack because I didn’t pack him a snack before leaving the house (Oh, how I wish I was kidding), we end up at a yakuniku (Korean BBQ) and set ourselves back about $60.  Where we ate marinated means (in what I can only assume is a soy derivative but we will cheat with those) until we could not eat them any longer.
  6. While at said yakuniku – Mr. Danger tried to sneak himself a pepsi float. 

 

Can someone please explain to me how going paleo was a GOOD idea??!? 

 

Since I ratted him out, I’ll rat myself out too.  In the last week I’ve done the following:

  1. Eaten a bowl of said organic cereal – I will not be eating it again I don’t like it.
  2. Had a small ice cream cone after the pepsi float incident.  I realize it was petty and I’m only hurting myself but whatever.
  3. If you follow me on Twitter (@molly_danger), you’re aware that I lost an argument to some chips and salsa. 
  4. Made pesto pasta with a packet of seasoning.
  5. Ate the yakuniku – after all, it is my favorite restaurant.

Now, Mr. Danger wants me to buy him a list of random supplements thanks to Mr. Tim Ferris (who is not paleo, btw).  Apparently he says you should eat beans and other things as opposed to Rob Wolf who says no to those things.  I’m not sure he knows who or what to believe but he has the attention span of a fly and it makes me crazy.  I told him I’d give him 30 days and in less than 17, we have 3 almost gallons of white 2% organic milk in the fridge, a box of cereal in the pantry, and a husband who doesn’t even know the rules of his own diet.  We’ve talked about sweet potatoes and white potatoes and his decision was, nah, we’ll cut them out – but somehow white milk falls into the okay category?!?!

I want to bang my head into the wall.

As I sit here and type this, he’s in another room, leaving me to search for these stupid supplements he wants thanks to Tim Ferris while he does NOTHING.  Seriously, can someone please just kill me.  If he teaches my son how to whine like he does, I’m sending them both away.  His mother can take care of them – she is the one that allowed this type of behavior.

Now, onto the other updates – crap food of the day was:

  • Pancakes
  • Pizza (thin crust)
  • Enchilada Pie with black beans (light on the tortilla with cheese) 
  • Oh, and the oreos he HAD to have at the shopette when he went in for a bottle of water… and then demanded I ate them with him.  I should have just thrown them out the window but I hate wasting money.  Next time, I’m throwing them out the window.    

 My C25K update – I finished week 6!! Ran 22 minutes tonight non-stop for 2.24 miles (including w/u & c/d).  I’m pretty proud of myself.  I can’t tell you the last time I ran that amount of time or distance.. actually I can – never.  I have distance running and we only ran a mile in high school.

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Paleo Progress and a C25K update

Well, cheat day was a rousing success.  We went and had pancakes in the morning and I didn’t even end up eating my eggs and bacon until the next morning because I was full (I may have had some loaded hash browns, too).  I don’t even think we ate lunch and went to macaroni grill for dinner and split the lobster raviolis and 2 items of the tapas menu.  The theme of the day was literally carb and cheese coma.  It was awful.  I felt like garbage afterwards (and still managed to eat some popcorn).  I may have went just a *wee bit* overboard on a cheat day.  The really sad part is that looking at all the food I ate is that I could have done that normally.  I eat a lot apparently.  I can tell you that I don’t miss bread except for the occasional thought about making a sandwich out of convenience.  You know, that pepperidge farm, thin sliced bread that literally gets stuck to the roof of your mouth?  I want that bread.  More than anything though, I miss cheese.  I love cheese.  We’ve considered incorporating it into an occasional meal but probably wont because I have no self control obviously.  Cooking paleo is a total pain in the ass, to put it lightly.  Long are the days of opening a package of rice and tossing it on the stove for 9 minutes (yeah, I know, that stuff is terrible for you).  This whole change is seriously making me reconsider my previous food choices.  I read the ingredients of things, which is something I used to do looking for onions or allergens.  Now, I can’t figure out why they put flippin’ sugar in EVERYTHING.  And I mean everything.  Every sauce or marinade out there has sugar in it in some fashion.  Sometimes, it’s a matter of the lesser of 2 evils (dehydrated cane syrup vs. HFCS/sugar).  Other times, there’s just no way to even try and make it look good.  Did you know that canned tuna has soy in it?  I cheated on myself with tortilla chips last week.  I wanted salsa and I wanted crunchy.  So I ate chips and salsa, lol.  I felt pretty crappy afterwards but it was so good.  I’ve gotten some ideas to make “chips” but haven’t tested them out yet.  We don’t have the same ingredients available here.  There are no regular, orange sweet potatoes, jicamas are hard to find; the list goes on and on.  Oh well, my next cheet day won’t involve the same indulgences of last week but it will include cheese – why? because melted cheese is amazing.

As for the Couch to 5K challenge – well, I update that on twitter and instagram (@molly_danger).  I can VERY proudly say that I’m finishing week 6 in the next 2 days.  I have a 22 minute run looming on the horizon this week.  Some days I do great, other days I fail wildly.  Baby Danger no longer runs with me, he melts down in a stroller to easily.  So I run when Superman is home.  Two days ago I ran 1 ten minute intervals and it was amazing.  I gave up and treadmilled it because it is increasingly hot here, the humidity is trying to kill us all.  I am pretty impressed with myself at getting this far because I literally have not attempted to run any type of distance since high school gym class (which was over 10 years ago).  Since then I’ve gained a lot of weight and was afraid my knees weren’t going to be able to take it.  They seem to be doing okay which is a plus.  My goal is to run a 5k this year without dying… and then keep running them.
 
Oh and I’ve lost 5lbs in 2 weeks.

Sidenote: Superman just interrupted me with a video of Aaron Hicks – the rookie center fielder for the Minnesota Twins thowing out Vernon Wells from right-center to 3rd base without a relay.  It was a phenomenal throw in every sense of the word, I’ve watched the video 4 times.  Baby Danger and I watch baseball during the day (I’m one of those weird people that likes watching baseball) I actually also enjoy watching baseball highlights while running.

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