The glamorous life of the military wife.

You’ve seen the show, you’ve seen the meme’s and comments.  Our lives are POSH (wich a capital P).  It’s all sunshine and rainbows and people bending over backwards for us, etc. etc. etc.  Our husbands are home every night for dinner, the yard is perfect, the laundry is put away and we have maids.  The kids are perfectly groomed in their designer clothes and we look like we just stepped out of the salon with out designer purse. Right?!

Wait, you mean that’s a lie?  RATS!

 

I recently was messaging with someone who is PCSing from Oki to Why Not? and I told her the base was small.  Her response was, “smaller than Kadena?”  I choked on my water.   Why Not? has a base population of about 5500, Kadena is home to 20,000 people.  This poor, young girl, has no idea.  She has no idea that she’s about to live on a base where the restraunts close at 7pm.  There is no steakhouse, no teppanyaki, no chili’s.  There’s barely a BX.  Her travel time will turn from 10 minutes to 30.  The gym will no longer have the best smoothie bar ever and will close at some STUPID hour because it’s “winter”.  Hell, it’s always winter in North Dakota.  I didn’t have the heart to tell her that it’s nothing like this place.  I told her, “it’s what you make of it.”  And that’s the absolute truth.  If we got orders back, I wouldn’t cry like I did the first time.  I might even be a little excited (and slightly annoyed, but I’d deal).  I still have friends there, I wouldn’t be walking into a new place not knowing anyone.  This girl is young.  Oh well.

 

Lately, I’ve been wondering where we will go next, because we WILL go somewhere next and in 2 years or so (maybe sooner), but we won’t extend here.  At least, as of right now – Superman refuses.  I haven’t really seen him in 3 weeks.  It’s pretty obvious looking around that he hasn’t been home and when he is home, he continually makes messes – this isn’t new.  But usually, he’s home long enough, sometimes, to clean them up.  Not recently.  I might choke him soon, or sell all of his stuff if he doesn’t clean up his messes soon.  In the last 3 weeks he’s volunteered at least 5 times.  He’s planned and orchestrated a ball.  He got sick for 3 days.  He’s worked 3 different jobs.  He was told to be flexible because there’s no telling where he’ll go in the next few weeks and then on Wednesday of last week we found out.  He’s going to rescue school.  So Monday morning he’s in training, but Sunday night he’s supposed to work dispatch from 2am – 8am and be in rescue by 0645.  WHAT?!  Now I have to deal with 3ish weeks of rescue school and then who knows what.  

I’m annoyed.  Really annoyed.

No joke, he’s been home for 3 hours tops and then turns around and leaves again.  I want to go to the gym.  I want a shower on my own time.  I want to not be responsible for grocery shopping and childrearing at the exact same time, every time.  I would like to watch a movie with my husband (not my sleeping husband who fell asleep on the couch and I haven’t judo chopped him yet).  These last few weeks have sucked.  First he got sick, then Baby Danger got croup, then I got something that required antibiotics and came with a 103 degree fever.  The only person who was required to soldier on like nothing was wrong was me.  Everyone else got to sleep and rest.  Not me.  And let me just tell you something, sicky MD is an ANGRY MD.  I said so many things to him, so many cuss words and I meant every single one of them.  During my time being sick (I still am, btw), I was responsible for all the cooking, the kid-rearing, his bathing, my bathing, trying to convince myself to eat whatever I made for myself (and deliver dinner to the broken superhero) AND clean up the house, the neverending pile of crap that keeps coming in my house and never leaves because someone who won’t be named (superman) can’t be bothered to straighten up, clean up, wipe down, run a dishwasher, run a washer, or put anything away or in the garbage.  I’m pretty sure our trash can is invisible to the male population around here as well.  I’m going to collect all the crap that he leaves lying around and put it in his closet or something.  He has no idea.  I picked up a straw wrapper, a granola bar wrapper, an empty milk jug, an empty water jug, 3 empty cups, 2 plates, assorted silverware, and like 5 or 6 other things that were just left out.  He said, “I was going to pick them up later.”  I asked him which month he was planning on doing that.  Our grass has weeds in it that are waist-high.  My recycling is literally sitting outside the front door.  His dry cleaning bags are all over the couch and his laundry pile is (no joke) 5′ tall.  I stood next to it, just to verify.  AKLFHKLWTORIQWFONQNW!??!!!!!!!! I hope he’s ready for it this weekend because if this house isn’t picked up by then, he’s going to be super bored cleaning all weekend.

Did I mention his mom is going to be here in like 6 weeks and I need to finish Christmas shopping.  UGH.

 

I NEED HIM HOME FOR MORE THAN 12 HOURS.  He’s already trying to plan going out to dinner on Friday night.  His friend wants to take us out for rescuing his dog and wants to leave here at 7pm for dinner.  Ugh, no dude.  There’s a tiny human who’s usually in bed by 8.  That’s not happening.  Oh and he wants to go deep sea fishing.  I’m actually tempted to let him go, just so he can get super sea sick for $120.  (He can kiss it – he’s not going).

 

I need a mama-san… and a less lazy husband.  Yes, I called him lazy – it’s an entirely accurate adjective for him.  He’s the only person I know that doesn’t put a single thing in the trash.  Yesterday, I picked up 2 dirty diapers before I went to bed.  Neither of them were ones I had changed.  There’s no follow-through.  He just sets things down and walks away from them.  Ugh.  Just Ugh.

 

Do I get leave?  I need leave!

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MyCAA revisited

If you are on a military base and you are friends with, or belong to any of the spouses page (and yard sale pages) facebook accounts/pages – you’ve no doubt seen the advertisements for MyCAA and some type of training program.

 

I saw one of those today and the girl (who isn’t even at this base or country for that matter) was peddling a pharmacy tech program through Auburn University.  Now, if you remember, I’m a CPhT (yes, it’s still valid) amongst other things that involve multiple bachelor’s degrees and the like.  Regardless, I inquired about it’s legitimacy.  I asked about it’s accreditation, what school was hosting the program, the link to the school, the link to the program, etc.  I asked, very specifically, about it’s accreditation in regards to ASHP (American Society of Hospital Pharmacists).  She claimed she had called the school and they told her that they were indeed accredited.  I ran over to the ASHP site and looked for their little school on the list (and boy, are they a little school).  Guess who’s not on the list?  Auburn University OR Tyler Junior College out of Tyler, Texas.  I specifically asked about the ASHP because it’s a major accreditation board and multiple states require an approved curriculum from them to license their pharmacy technicians.  She gave me a link to the PTCB website for their accreditation (wrong!).  Told me she called the school (lie). 

 

Apparently, the draw to be a pharm tech is so great that people all over the world want to count pills.  Let me just tell you that there is SO much more to it than that.  Between a constant phone ringing, people at the window, IV’s being drawn up, pills being counted and moved and loaded and unloaded and returned and dispensed, orders needing verified, scheduled meds needing to be sent around, etc. etc. etc. – things get hectic.  In the land of food, you can screw up a cheeseburger, your manager might not see your mistake and your customer will live.  If you screw up a baby IV and your pharmacist doesn’t catch the error, that baby might die and you’ll both be out of a job, a license, and a potentially your own money.

 

I told her what was up, nice as possible but these people are recruiters.  They will tell you whatever they can to get you to give up your MyCAA money.  This system is a CASH COW.  I’ve talked to the MyCAA people about it and they admit the system is inherently flawed but they have no control over MyCAA approved schools.  They just have to meet federal financial aid requirements.  Yes, it’s awesome that there is some money out there for people to get educated and find a trade, but seriously… do your homework.  If you take the program and can’t use it, how likely are you to retake it?  You’re not.  You spent all this time and effort getting good grades and completing assignments and now it’s futile and you’ll have to do it again, if you decide to.  Ask anyone who’s taken a college class, they don’t want to take it again.  Ask anyone who’s had to take one twice, they hate everything about it.

 

Get your education, find a trade, but make sure it’s useful!  Make sure that you can USE it and it’s legitimate.  She’s running around spouting Auburn University and they’re not even the ones who are administering the program!  They’re recruiters, they lie.  You’re almost all military spouses (or military members) – you KNOW this already.

 

BE SMART (and don’t take any programs with Education Consulting Associates)!

 

P.S., how are you going to get trained in a medical career that requires physical skills without doing any clinicals?  Really?  If you get an online certification for phlebotomy, stay away from me.

 

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What we wish we put in our Unaccompanied Baggage (Express Shipment)

UAB or unaccompanied baggage is your small shipment that arrives as an express shipment. I have no idea how much weight you get for it, ours clocked in at 435lbs.

What we packed –
Air mattress
Pack n play
Rock n play
Swing
Bouncer
Duffel
2 suitcases full of clothing
3 totes, 1 of all his gear from the station
A box with a few pots and pans, some dishes, silverware and plastic cups
Queen Sheets
Breast pump (tmi? Who cares)
Air mattress pump
Cheap Shower curtain
Toilet paper and electric toothbrushes
And some odds and ends that the packers missed in our hhgs
Hard drives with movies on them

What we would pack in addition next time –
Scissors
Small tool set with screwdriver with all the attachments, and a wrench
Television – Probably just the little spare room one
Can opener and potentially a corkscrew (you’re gonna need it, lol)
Pillows
Plain Shower curtain liner or the one with the mesh pockets
hangers (at least 1 good box of them)
Bluetooth speakerphone for car – I left mine behind 😦
Fm transmitter if going to a foreign country

What we wouldn’t have packed –
Electric toothbrush – stupid fire locker
Odds and ends packers missed
His tote from work that had random bullshit in it.
Cheap shower curtain
Half of his clothing

His uniform stuff obviously had to come, but an r/c car that was in his locker did not… Nor did we need his fire books or that stupid binder from bmt. He brought so much clothing you’d swear he was a chick. We needed all the baby stuff and while we really loved co-sleeping with baby danger, I’m glad to have him back in his bed and out of our new found and borrowed double bed.

We were lucky enough to get government furniture to tide us over but they don’t give you a tv or microwave. I tried to go to airman and family readiness’s loan closet to borrow a few things (microwave, toaster, vacuum, coffee pot, etc) and they’re completely out of stuff. I’m glad we brought the things we did, even if we didn’t use the air mattress.  We tried to pack a recliner, but they said no, lol.

Next time we won’t have so much baby stuff, hopefully, and we will have room for other stuff.

What am I missing??  What did you put in yours that you were thankful for?